In the ongoing trial of Rush Limbaugh vs. Science, the plaintiff testified Monday that a freak snowstorm in the Northeast over the weekend disproves the scientific evidence that humankind is causing an unnatural rise in global temperatures.
"Listen to me: Thirty inches of snow on Halloween exposes the lies of tree-hugging zombies who are hell bent on scaring us with bogus climate research," Limbaugh argued on his radio show, adding a mocking "Boo!" to punctuate the opening comments of his annual winter impeachment of global warming.
"Just you wait until Thanksgiving," Limbaugh told his audience. "Mother Nature will freeze the Butterballs off every laboratory quack with a thermometer stuffed up his buttocks."
The ghost of German physicist Daniel Fahrenheit, one of many expert witnesses for science, modestly declined to respond except to whisper, "Herr Al Franken ist korrekt: Rush Limbaugh ist ein idiot."
Happy Halloween. Please be scared.